Signs That You are Too Drunk

1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
3. Your job is interfering with your drinking.
4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
5. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
6. Two hands and just one mouth.. - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
7. You can focus better with one eye closed.
8. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
9. You fall off the floor..
10. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
11. Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
12. You wake up screaming 'TORO TORO TORO!' in the middle of the night.