Showing posts with label god. Show all posts
Showing posts with label god. Show all posts
Thursday, December 26, 2019
Monday, May 20, 2013
God is Getting Perfect Day By Day
My little girl was sitting on my lap facing a mirror.
After gazing intently at her reflection for some minutes, she said: ‘Papa, did God make you?’
“certainly, my dear,’ I told her.
“And did he make me, to?’ taking another look in the mirror.
“Certainly, dear. What makes you ask?’
“Seems to me He’s doing better work lately.”
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
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Tuesday, August 21, 2012
God is watching
The
children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for
lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Even God Don't Have Answer For Few Things
A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.” The biker pulled over and said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.”
The Lord said, “Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for Me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.”
The biker thought about it for a long time Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives. I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”
The Lord replied, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?.”
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Proofs Of Who Was Jesus
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel
3. He didn’t get a fair trial
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father’s business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals
3. He used olive oil
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature
2. He ate a lot of fish
3. He talked about the Great Spirit
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was virtually no food
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do
Can I get an
AMEN!!
1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel
3. He didn’t get a fair trial
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father’s business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals
3. He used olive oil
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature
2. He ate a lot of fish
3. He talked about the Great Spirit
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was virtually no food
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do
Can I get an
AMEN!!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Arriving in Heaven
A man arrives at the gates of Heaven.
St. Peter asks, "Religion?"
"Methodist," the man says.
St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to Room 24, but be very quiet as you pass Room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of Heaven.
"Religion?"
"Baptist."
"Go to Room 18, but be very quiet as you pass Room 8."
A third man arrives at the gates.
"Religion?"
"Jewish."
"Go to Room 11, but be very quiet as you pass Room 8."
The man says, "I can understand there being Different rooms for different religions, but why must we all be quiet when we pass Room 8?"
"Well, the Catholics are in Room 8," St. Peter replies, "and they think they're the only ones here."
St. Peter asks, "Religion?"
"Methodist," the man says.
St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to Room 24, but be very quiet as you pass Room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of Heaven.
"Religion?"
"Baptist."
"Go to Room 18, but be very quiet as you pass Room 8."
A third man arrives at the gates.
"Religion?"
"Jewish."
"Go to Room 11, but be very quiet as you pass Room 8."
The man says, "I can understand there being Different rooms for different religions, but why must we all be quiet when we pass Room 8?"
"Well, the Catholics are in Room 8," St. Peter replies, "and they think they're the only ones here."
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