Showing posts with label obama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label obama. Show all posts
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
People Just Love President Obama
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
~Conan O'Brien
America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
~Jay Leno
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
~Jay Leno
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree... and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
~Jay Leno (we love Jay)
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
~Jimmy Kimmel
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!
~Jimmy Fallon
After a quick meet-and-greet with King Abdullah, Obama was off to Israel, where he made a quick stop at the manger in Bethlehem where he was born. ~Jon Stewart
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.
~David Letterman
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
~David Letterman (Dave's not bad either)
Police in Texas arrested a man who was using the alias 'Barack Obama' while trying to steal money from 35 ATMs. They could tell something was up when a guy named Barack Obama was trying to take money from banks instead of giving it to them. ~Jimmy Fallon
You know, it's hard to believe President Obama has now been in office for a year. Isn't that amazing? It's a year. And you know, it's incredible. He took something that was in terrible, terrible shape, and he brought it back from the brink of disaster: The Republican party. ~Jay Leno
President Obama should get a big refund this year because he has a lot of dependents. AIG, Citibank, Morgan Stanley - all dependents. ~Jay Leno
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
~Conan O'Brien
America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
~Jay Leno
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
~Jay Leno
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree... and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
~Jay Leno (we love Jay)
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
~Jimmy Kimmel
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!
~Jimmy Fallon
After a quick meet-and-greet with King Abdullah, Obama was off to Israel, where he made a quick stop at the manger in Bethlehem where he was born. ~Jon Stewart
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.
~David Letterman
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
~David Letterman (Dave's not bad either)
Police in Texas arrested a man who was using the alias 'Barack Obama' while trying to steal money from 35 ATMs. They could tell something was up when a guy named Barack Obama was trying to take money from banks instead of giving it to them. ~Jimmy Fallon
You know, it's hard to believe President Obama has now been in office for a year. Isn't that amazing? It's a year. And you know, it's incredible. He took something that was in terrible, terrible shape, and he brought it back from the brink of disaster: The Republican party. ~Jay Leno
President Obama should get a big refund this year because he has a lot of dependents. AIG, Citibank, Morgan Stanley - all dependents. ~Jay Leno
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Damned Democrats
A little boy wanted a bicycle very badly, but was told he couldn't have it because it would cost $100, and the family just didn't couldn't afford that in this bad economy.
He prayed for weeks, but nothing happened, so he decided God just couldn't hear his tiny little voice, so he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter to "God, USA", they decided to send it to the President. And sure enough, it was one of the sample letters that reached President Obama's inbox.
The president was so touched that he put a $5 bill in the envelope and sent it to the little boy. The president thought that this would appear to be a lot of money to such a young child.
The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God:
Dear God,
Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington D.C., and those damned Democrats took $95 in taxes.
He prayed for weeks, but nothing happened, so he decided God just couldn't hear his tiny little voice, so he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter to "God, USA", they decided to send it to the President. And sure enough, it was one of the sample letters that reached President Obama's inbox.
The president was so touched that he put a $5 bill in the envelope and sent it to the little boy. The president thought that this would appear to be a lot of money to such a young child.
The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God:
Dear God,
Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington D.C., and those damned Democrats took $95 in taxes.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Friday, November 14, 2008
How To Impress Others
A freshly elected Barrack Obama is sitting in a hotel lobby, planning his speech to a group of businessmen when a little man comes up to him.
“Excuse me Mr. President but my name is Jason Prins and I’m here with an extremely important client tonight. We’re going to see your speech tonight, and it would be a great help to me if when we walk by, you could impress him by saying, “Hello Jason”.
President Obama, eager to please, readily agrees and fifteen minutes later, the little man walks by deep in conversation with his client. Obama approached him and said ” Hello Jason.”
The little man says “F**k off, Barrack! I’m in a meeting!” and keeps walking.
“Excuse me Mr. President but my name is Jason Prins and I’m here with an extremely important client tonight. We’re going to see your speech tonight, and it would be a great help to me if when we walk by, you could impress him by saying, “Hello Jason”.
President Obama, eager to please, readily agrees and fifteen minutes later, the little man walks by deep in conversation with his client. Obama approached him and said ” Hello Jason.”
The little man says “F**k off, Barrack! I’m in a meeting!” and keeps walking.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
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