Economy

Recession Updates

1. Ali Baba and the forty thieves are now Ali Baba and the thirty thieves. Ten were laid off.
2. Batman and Robin are now Batman and Raman. Batman fired Robin and hired Raman in Bengaluru  because Raman was willing to work twice the hours at the same rate
3. Iron man now "air-pooling" with Superman to save fuel costs.
4. Women finally marrying for love, and not money
5. Q: With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest way tomake a small fortune? A: Start off with a large one.
6. The credit crunch is getting bad isn't it? I mean, I let my brother borrow $10 a couple of weeks back, it turns out I'm now America's third biggest lender.
7. Q: Why have Dubai real estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning? A: Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.
8. Q: What's the difference between an American and a Zimbabwean? A: In a few weeks, nothing.
9. Dow Jones is re-branded as "Down Jones".

This Is How Stock Market Works

US Debt Crisis Resolved

The Economy Is Bad That....

• The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
• The economy is so bad I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”
• The economy is so bad that CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
• The economy is so bad if the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
• The economy is so bad Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
• The economy is so bad McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
• The economy is so bad parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
• The economy is so bad a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
• The economy is so bad Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.
• The economy is so bad Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

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Help Wanted

Cost Cutting Idea

How Bad is the Economy?

The economy is so bad that:

• Motel 6 won't leave the light on for you anymore.
• CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
• People in Beverly Hills have fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
• A truck load of Americans got caught sneaking into Mexico.
• People are now volunteering for jury duty -- for the money!
• Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, "Finish your plate, do you know how many kids are starving in America?"
• The Mafia is laying off judges.
• A picture is now only worth 200 words.
• Snoop Dogg had to start eating regular brownies.
• The CEO of Walmart has been seen shopping at Walmart.

Economic Pressure

Faced with economic pressures, many commercial offices are cutting back on costs wherever possible, in an attempt to remain profitable.

At one particular office, employees are taking management's belt-tightening orders seriously:

"I'm making 2 cups of coffee instead of 5 a day from the office kitchen" said one of the staffs.

"I'm taking home only half the office supplies I used to" one staf noted.

"I'm using 1 roll of toilet paper instead of 2 rolls a day" said the other who mentioned that he used to spend 2 hours in the office toilet a day.

T-Shirt Trends This Recession

Shop Damn It Shop !

Yes! We Are Desperate

Yeah .. I thought So Too

Rock Solid Foundation - Just Like World Economy

Job Seekers From The Past

Everyone's looking for a job. If you haven't been laid off, you might be soon, or else you need a second job to just keep up. What if historical characters had to go through the modern job application and interview process? Julius Caesar:
My last job involved a lot of office politics and back stabbing. I'd like to get away from all that.

Jesse James:
I can list among my experiences and skills: leadership, extensive travel, logistical organization, intimate understanding of firearms, and a knowledge of security measures at numerous banks.

Marie Antoinette:
My management style has been criticized, but I'd like to think of myself as a people person.

Joseph Guillotin:
I can give your company a head start on the competition.

Hamlet:
My position was eliminated in a hostile takeover.

Lucrezia Borgia:
My greatest accomplishment? After I took over the department, our competition just seemed to drop out of sight one by one.

Pandora:
I can bring a lot to your company. I like discovering new things.

Genghis Khan:
My primary talent is downsizing. On my last job I downsized my staff, my organization, and the populations of several countries.

Macbeth:
Would I go after my boss's job? Do I look like the kind of guy who would knock off his boss for a promotion?

Lady Godiva:
What do you mean this isn't business casual?

Elvis:
My last boss and I...say, are you going to eat those fries?

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How To Fix The Economy

Mr. Obama,

There’s about 40 million people over 50 years old in the work force - pay them $1 million apiece severance with stipulations.

1) They leave their jobs. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.

2) They buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry

fixed.

3) They either buy a house/pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.

Any Questions??

Regards,
American Taxpayers Union

Gooood Morning Sunshine

Net Worth

A Valid Query To Banks

Dear Sirs,

In view of what seems to be happening internationally with banks at the moment, I was wondering if you could advise me correctly…

If one of my cheques is returned marked ‘insufficient funds,’

how do I know whether that refers to me, or to you?

World Economy : Do I Need To Say Anything Else