Pub Steakout

The policeman had the bar under surveillance a few minutes before closing time, so he could see who comes out drunk.
The first one out the door at 2:00 o'clock weaved down the sidewalk, then fell on the curb. Sluggishly got up, then tried his keys in five cars before finding his own car.
Once inside his car, he fumbled with his keys for 2 or 3 minutes.
Meanwhile, all the club patrons had gotten into their cars and driven away, leaving this one fellow quite alone in the parking lot.
Finally, he got his car started and began to very slowly drive away.
Immediately, the police car was behind him with lights flashing.
The policeman asked the man to take a breathalyser test, to which he readily agreed.
When the reading was 0.0%, the policeman said, "How can this be?"
To which the man replied, "Because tonight, I'm the designated decoy."

50 $ Ride

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter. 'Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.'
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther I'm 85 years old. if I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.' Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.' The pilot over heard the couple and said, 'folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride; if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! but if you say one word, it's 50 dollars.'
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. the pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard. he did his dare devil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'by golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't . I'm impressed!'
Morris replied, 'well I almost said something when Esther fell out, but, you know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars!'

Office Money Prank

Japanese Prank

April Fool Food

1. Scoop a small hole in an apple with the end of a spoon and insert a sweet gummy worm – yuck!

2. If your family eats O-shaped cereal, thread them all onto a piece of string and put them back in the box.

3. Make a fake ‘fried egg’. Arrange a spoonful of natural yoghurt in an oval on a plate. Pop an apricot half in the middle. Serve it up to your family with a rasher of real bacon.

4. Make some jelly following the instructions on the packet. Before it sets, pour the jelly into glasses. Pop a straw into each one and put in the fridge. Wait until your jelly sets before you serve up your ‘fruit squash’. Watch your guests try to drink it!

5. Put an empty eggshell upside down in an eggcup and surprise someone with a boiled egg that’s got nothing inside.

6. If your milk comes in cartons, turn it blue with a few drops of food colouring. No one will notice until they pour it out.

7. Serve a scoop of mashed potato in an ice cream cone – tell your guests it’s vanilla-flavoured ice cream.

8. With a pin, pierce several holes in a drinking straw, then pop it in a glass of squash.

9. Put plastic wrap over the top of a glass of milk, and watch the confusion as someone puts it to their lips.

10. Swap the sugar and salt over.

11. Scrape the butter icing from the middle of a biscuit and replace it with toothpaste. If toothpast doesn’t sound like a good idea to you, use ketchup or mustard instead.

12. Add food coloring to water to make it look like a glass of juice or punch.

Last Laugh

Hairdryer Prank

Nice Prank

High School Prank

Who says today’s kids aren’t smart? Well, some of them are!

I wish I’d thought of this ...

At a high school in Montana a group of students played a prank on the school.

They let three goats loose in the school.

Before they let them go they painted numbers on the sides of the goats: 1, 2 and 4.

Local school administrators spent most of the day looking for #3.