Corner Tickets

Girls Marrying At 22-23 Are Like

Why women talk so much ?

Getting Ready To Go Out

The Italian Secret to a Long Marriage

At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Adelaide, they have weekly husbands'
marriage seminars.

At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was
approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and
share some insight into how he had managed
to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I'va tried to
treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka
her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'

The priest responded, 'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all
the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife
for your 50th anniversary?'

Giuseppe proudly replied, " I gonna go pick her up."

Eye Opener

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work.

His wife screams at him as his friend listens in. “My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I’m still in my pajamas and I can’t be bothered with cooking tonight! What the hell did you bring him home for?

“Because he’s thinking of getting married.”

All You Need Is A Little Motivation

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son-in-law, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son-in-law. 'Yes, Dad, what is it?'

'Don't be nervous son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well...... if something happens to me, your mother in law is going to come and live with you.'

The surgery was a great success.

Honesty

A man robs a bank and takes hostages. He asks the first hostage, "Did you see me rob the bank?"

The hostage answers "Yes". The robber promptly shoots him in the head.

Then he asks the second hostage if he saw him rob the bank.

The hostage answers, "No, but my wife did".

Marriage Change Your Perspective Of Life

Definition Of Honeymoon

A man's last holiday before he starts working for a new boss !!

Over Speeding ?

Judge: Whats the proof that u were not Over speeding?
Man: My Lord, I was going to my in-laws place to bring my wife back.

Judge: Case dismissed.

Wedding Dress Joke

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explained.

"And today is the happiest day in her life." The child thought about this for a moment.

"So why is the groom wearing black?"

Most Lethal Food

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realises the germs in our drinking water.

But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to?"

"You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea."

The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake."

Law Is On Our Side

Why Do Couples Fight ?

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.
So, I took her to a petrol pump And then the fight started.

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation."Somewhere I've not been in a long time."
So I took her to the kitchen. Then the fight started.

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started.

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a weighing scale. And then the fight started.

Memorial Stone

Jim died.

His will provided $40,000 for an elaborate funeral.

As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Sharon turned to her oldest and dearest friend.
‘Well, I’m sure Jim would be pleased,’ she said.

‘I’m sure you’re right,’ replied Brenda, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.
’How much did this really cost?’

’All of it,’ said Sharon . ‘Forty thousand.’

’No!’ Brenda exclaimed. ‘I mean, it was very nice, but $40,000?’

Sharon answered, ‘The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to church. The whiskey, wine and snacks were another $500. The rest went for the Memorial Stone.’

Brenda computed quickly. ‘$32,500 for a Memorial Stone? How big is it?’

Best Wedding Pics I've Ever Seen

via

Why Did I Meet Her

Give Me An Excuse That I Haven't Heard Before

A man in his 40's bought a new BMW and was out on the Pacific Highway for a nice evening drive. The top down, breeze blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up. As the needle went over 140 km/h, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

"There's no way they can catch my BMW," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 160, 180.... then the reality of the situation hit him.

"What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car.

"It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift, and it's Friday. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

Spiderman After Marriage