Laws Of Life

• Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.
• Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.
• The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.
• Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.
• First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else.
• Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.
• Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.
• The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.
• Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot