Some One Liners

1. Take my advice; I don't use it anyway.
2. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
3. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
4. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
5. Next time you wave, use all your fingers.
6. The only perfect science is hindsight.
7. A procrastinator's work is never done.
8. My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.
9. Leftists are among the first to speak of their rights.
10. A penny saved is a Congressional spending oversight.
11. I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.
12. AIBOHPHOBIA - the fear of palindromes.
13. If puns were outlawed, only outlaws would have puns.
14. I was the next door kid's imaginary friend.
15. Even crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.