Short Marriage Jokes

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

---

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
‘Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?’
‘Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.’

---

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
‘Husband Wanted’.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
‘You can have mine.’

---

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

---

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished

---

A little boy asked his father,
‘Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?’
Father replied, ‘I don’t know son, I’m still paying.’

---

A young son asked,
‘Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?’
Dad replied, ‘That happens in every country, son.’

---

Then there was a woman who said, ‘I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late.

---

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

---

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say—talk in your sleep.

---

Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

---

First guy says, ‘My wife’s an angel!’
Second guy remarks, ‘You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.’

---

‘A Woman’s Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I’ll just beat him to death’