Funny Quotes From Famous People

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
Dave Edison.

"If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either."
Dick Cavett.

"An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex."
Edgar Wallace.

"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
Sacha Guitry.

"Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff."
Steven Wright.

"You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
Al Capone.

"To write a diary every day is like returning to one's own vomit."
Enoch Powell.

"If you've got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow."
John Wayne.

"The trouble with children is that they're not returnable."
Quentin Crisp.