10 Oneliners To Explain Your Marriage

1. Two men were talking. First: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house n doing laundry. Second: Amazing, I took divorce for the same reason!
   
2. Newly divorced woman explaining reason for splitting: We had religious differences - he thought he was God, I didn't.
   
3. Yeah, my husband and I just split up. I finally faced the fact that we're incompatible. I'm a Virgo and he's an a@@hole
   
4. Johny declares: I'll never marry in my life and I'll give same advice to my children also.
   
5. I asked my wife what sort of books she's interested in, she said: Cheque books.
   
6. Wife's definition of retirement: Twice as much husband on half as much pay.
   
7. Husband: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
   Wife: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
   
8. Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
   A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
   
9. Will you love me after marriage also?
   This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
   
10. Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.
    Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!!