Funny Military Warnings

"Aim towards the Enemy."
- Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
- U.S. Army

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
- U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop

"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
- Infantry Journal

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
- U.S. Air Force Manual

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."
- Infantry Journal

"Tracers work both ways."
- U.S. Army Ordnance

"Five-second fuses only last three seconds."
- Infantry Journal

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
- Col. David Hackworth

"If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an ambush."
- Infantry Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
- Joe Gay

"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once."
- Anon

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
- Unknown Army Recruit

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
- Your Buddies

(And lastly) "If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him."
-- U.S.A. Ammo